Life After Pain (A Walk Everyday May Blog)

All Images Videos Short videos Forums Shopping Web More Tools AI Overview Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you question your own reality, sanity, and memory to gain control over you.  Examples include denying that an event happened, twisting facts, telling you that you are "too sensitive" or "overreacting," and making you doubt your own sanity.  This is often a tactic in abusive relationships, but can also occur in friendships, families, or at work.   Definition A tactic of control :  Gaslighting is a manipulative behavior used to gain power and control over someone by eroding their sense of reality and self-trust.   A form of abuse :  When used repeatedly, it can be a form of coercive control and psychological or emotional abuse.   A breakdown of trust :  It systematically breaks down a person's trust in their own memory, instincts, and sanity.   Examples Denying and lying :  Denying an event took...

  Hi Dragonflies, As of recent I've made a desision that I will keep this blog going for odd occassions but I'm not focusing on making this an event anymore or writing as much about family domestic violence. This is because I have recently had a child and I feel like it's important to keep my focus on my child and my growing family. I want to balance talking about my toxic father when I need to but mostly focus on my little family. I think it's important to talk about these things to process sometimes but not to make my trauma my child's or to activate my flight or fight response. It has taken me this long to realise fully that I'm not powerless and my father now realises that I have him figured out and has changed his number because he knows that he cannot control me or my little family. He knows I will protect my child and that I'm not deluded in thinking that he could harm my child's development. Yeah it is a hard thought sometimes. That my father yet...

 Hi Dragonflies, I've currently been studying childcare and some of the stuff I stumble upon has inspired me with this blog. The UNCRC stands for the United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child.  The purpose of the United Nation’s Convention of the Rights of Children outlines the rights of children in international law and it includes 54 points that cover all parts of a child’s life to ensure all children receive equal care, attention and access to political, economic, social and cultural needs that they deserve. The reason I relate to this document is because this blog is all about human rights and children's rights are human rights. I write this blog to expose the people that trample intentionally on the rights of others and I relate it to my own experience of childhood trauma and encountering other abusive people in my adult life. It's not just certain family members I have come across who are abusive but also people I'm not related to. Of course, I won'...

  https://youtu.be/JRCqbxTsU60?si=tKY1uRVdmq6rcDZH Hi Dragonflies, I read It Ends With Us a week before the movie came out and it was recommended to me by my friend Gurpreet Dhariwal who has been a huge support for me when it comes to Walk Everyday May. I read the book and I enjoyed it. For me, I felt like the telling of the story between Ryle and Lily was more about seeing the relationship via the victim's eyes and that the victim was in love. When you see this kind of relationship through the eyes of others it looks very different. But I also agree with the critiques of this book and film. I saw the movie and it was ok, but I felt it didn't carry as much emotional weight as the book. I was also surprised when people I knew who weren't that interested in the topic of DV were very interested in seeing this movie. It actually made me angry that these people wanted to watch this movie because I felt like the fact that they were excited to see this film was a little insulting,...

  Hi Dragonflies, If you have experienced what I have learnt recently than this blog entry will resonate with you the most. Personally I have noticed my father getting worse. What I didn't realise was that even though this was not my Grandmother's intention and that she was just trying to be a good mother, she unknowingly became a source of narcissistic supply to my father. My father would continue to have an obsession with me while my Grannie was alive and my Grannie would often leave notes at my house(when I lived in the old unit) or text messages(before I changed my number) to get me to talk to my father which I would always ignore. My father can easily get on other peoples nerves but he is not really much of a danger to others except myself. Well usually. This time is different.  For many years my father could not get in contact with me unless I made contact myself and for 2 years I didn't hear from him because I made it impossible for him to contact me. When my Grannie...

  Hi Dragonflies, When I used to go to my father when I was upset as an adult and confided in him with my struggles he would always say, "You never learned to self-soothe!" For a long time I partly believed in what he said and wondered what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I lived with my husband that I started to realise that if this were true (which it is not) then why is the blame put on me? It is the job of the parent to teach a child to self soothe and instead my father neglected me whenever I needed him and when I turned to him on the rare occassions as an adult he would use this line on me so he didn't have to help me and so he could deflect blame. He knew that I struggled so much as ann early adult because of his failure to really be there for me and to teach me how to be independant. I was naturally independant to some degree but my enjoyment of being independant came from not having to be around my father. I was often upset that my father didn't make t...