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This Annoying Habit Of My Father's Girlfriend Is Toxic

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  Hi Dragonflies, I felt like writing an entry today. There has been someone who has been asking me questions on the abuse that I suffered from my father and his girlfriend and I thought it would be a good idea to write some entries explaining some elements of the abuse so they can understand more clearly why I don't speak with my father and his girlfriend and why the trust there is totally broken and irreparable. So when I was about 16 years of age my father's long distance girlfriend came to live with us. She was toxic on so many levels but she projected this sweet soft spoken persona to everyone else so people would often not believe me if I told them that my father's girlfriend abused me as well and I do believe that my father became more abusive when she came along. Before this woman came along my father seemed to be trying to help me recover from the abuse of his ex and he was very sorry for his part in it but when this woman came along it was like my father ditched t...
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What Is UNCRC and why will I be writing a series of blog entries on this topic?

 Hi Dragonflies, I've currently been studying childcare and some of the stuff I stumble upon has inspired me with this blog. The UNCRC stands for the United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child.  The purpose of the United Nation’s Convention of the Rights of Children outlines the rights of children in international law and it includes 54 points that cover all parts of a child’s life to ensure all children receive equal care, attention and access to political, economic, social and cultural needs that they deserve. The reason I relate to this document is because this blog is all about human rights and children's rights are human rights. I write this blog to expose the people that trample intentionally on the rights of others and I relate it to my own experience of childhood trauma and encountering other abusive people in my adult life. It's not just certain family members I have come across who are abusive but also people I'm not related to. Of course, I won'...
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My Take On The It Ends With Us Controversy

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  https://youtu.be/JRCqbxTsU60?si=tKY1uRVdmq6rcDZH Hi Dragonflies, I read It Ends With Us a week before the movie came out and it was recommended to me by my friend Gurpreet Dhariwal who has been a huge support for me when it comes to Walk Everyday May. I read the book and I enjoyed it. For me, I felt like the telling of the story between Ryle and Lily was more about seeing the relationship via the victim's eyes and that the victim was in love. When you see this kind of relationship through the eyes of others it looks very different. But I also agree with the critiques of this book and film. I saw the movie and it was ok, but I felt it didn't carry as much emotional weight as the book. I was also surprised when people I knew who weren't that interested in the topic of DV were very interested in seeing this movie. It actually made me angry that these people wanted to watch this movie because I felt like the fact that they were excited to see this film was a little insulting,...
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A Narcissist Grieving Over A Parent Is Twice as Dangerous

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  Hi Dragonflies, If you have experienced what I have learnt recently than this blog entry will resonate with you the most. Personally I have noticed my father getting worse. What I didn't realise was that even though this was not my Grandmother's intention and that she was just trying to be a good mother, she unknowingly became a source of narcissistic supply to my father. My father would continue to have an obsession with me while my Grannie was alive and my Grannie would often leave notes at my house(when I lived in the old unit) or text messages(before I changed my number) to get me to talk to my father which I would always ignore. My father can easily get on other peoples nerves but he is not really much of a danger to others except myself. Well usually. This time is different.  For many years my father could not get in contact with me unless I made contact myself and for 2 years I didn't hear from him because I made it impossible for him to contact me. When my Grannie...
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#1 In A Neglectful Parents Playbook: 'You Never Learnt How To Self Soothe'

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  Hi Dragonflies, When I used to go to my father when I was upset as an adult and confided in him with my struggles he would always say, "You never learned to self-soothe!" For a long time I partly believed in what he said and wondered what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I lived with my husband that I started to realise that if this were true (which it is not) then why is the blame put on me? It is the job of the parent to teach a child to self soothe and instead my father neglected me whenever I needed him and when I turned to him on the rare occassions as an adult he would use this line on me so he didn't have to help me and so he could deflect blame. He knew that I struggled so much as ann early adult because of his failure to really be there for me and to teach me how to be independant. I was naturally independant to some degree but my enjoyment of being independant came from not having to be around my father. I was often upset that my father didn't make t...
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Bullying Needs To End

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  Hi Dragonflies, Although I am studying Early Childhood Education I also have a lot of empathy for children of all ages. I amy even work up the ranks of being an educator to primary school children and even high school children. I was intially working towards becoming a teachers aide but later decided to study childcare as it aligns with my desire to become a parent to living children. I love helping children blossom and become their best selves and so this blog entry is dedicated to teenagers naviagting domestic violence. When I was a teenager I was experiencing family domestic violence and I was also bullied at school. I know I had other friends who were having a worse time of it and I even had a friend who was experiencing online bullying. I didn't have the internet at home so I guess that's why I wasn't targeted online but I also saw my bullies as a challenge and worked hard to always have smart comebacks which would make my bullies look stupid. My bullies didn't h...
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When A Strange Man Talks To A Woman Alone, It's Not Innocent

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  Hi Dragonflies, I wrote a post about this recently on reddit and I had 86 up votes and a few women commented saying they experience this a lot too and that it really annoys them. In the past two weeks I have been harrassed by strange men while I was alone twice. But I have also noticed that when I visit a local cafe in my neighbourhood which I would describe as 'mumcore' I don't get approached at all except by the workers. So it's in other public spaces that aren't predominately occupied by women. Yesterday was a strange day. Firstly I sat on the other side of a train seat and this older man preceded to talk to me as if he knew me. It was definitely like he had 'male character syndrome'. I was using my work app at the time and it called me as part of my sign in. Then he stopped talking for a while. It suddenly dawned on me that I could use this sign in technique to my advantage. So I got out of the app and signed in again. This time when my phone called me...
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