When They Spy On Your Socials, They’re Checking Up On You.

 

When I last spoke to my mother she admitted that her and my father often looked at my Facebook. I’ve also found numerous fake Instagram accounts of my father’s and that wasn’t just through searching. At one point one of those fake accounts was suggested to me as a friend believe it or not. Abusers can be very sloppy.

From reading books and articles on Family Violence I found that this is an abusive tactic called checking up on you. I use to feel very afraid of this tactic until I realised that ‘checking up’ on my socials was them grasping at straws trying to control me. They might make it sound like they can see what you’re up to or make you feel like they are in control but this is the lowest form of ‘checking up’ and you can gain autonomy in this.

At one point I shut down my socials and went awol online for a while. That turned out to be good for my mental health but not so good at keeping up with artist opportunities or making a difference with my event Walk Everyday May. I then learnt I could control what I share and lock my personal accounts so they couldn’t see what I am up to. I have also sent them an official letter of demand telling them to leave me alone. I have a record of them receiving this letter and I have copies of the letter at home in case I need to take legal action against them due to harassment.

Like I said in a previous post I don’t post anything recent going on in my life publicly. This blog is all about my past experiences with family violence and how I maintain my healing currently but that’s it. There is more going on in my life besides Walk Everyday May, what goes on besides that I keep between close friends and family in order to protect myself and toxic relatives.

So if you have toxic relatives ‘checking up on you’ via social media, just remember you have options. I mean the media doesn’t tell you everything that’s going on in the journalists lives, they control what they share as well, and you have control over what you share too. Always remember that and don’t be afraid the shut down your accounts if it makes you feel safer. I’ve shut down all my accounts online before and sometimes I miss it. Living in the real world is soooo much better than being online in my opinion. Now I just take screen and social media breaks every now and then so I can continue to have a life outside of the internet.

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