Beware of The Seemingly Helpful Narcisist

Being a good person, or rather appearing as one publicly, can generate fame and boost a narcissist's public image. Since narcissists are very interested in social status and influence, they use acts of generosity to appear noble and kind.
Darius Cikanavicius 


One thing that is particularly alarming about my father is that he is very deeply interested in psychology. Other narcissists in my biological toxic family have been interested in psychology and counselling as well. My toxic uncle by marriage is a bachelor of psychology drop out and my maternal grandmother also dropped out of counselling study as well. This is because they only studied it for superficial reasons and not to actually help people.

My father is one of the most manipulative people I know. As I mentioned in an older blog entry, my father and his girlfriend used a psychologist to manipulate me. To others, it seemed like they were serious about helping me but I knew they were using family therapy sessions to manipulate me and convinced the therapist that I was the source of the problem. 

When I investigated the YouTube profile of my fathers who had subscribed to an old YouTube channel of mine I noticed he had a whole playlist of psychology videos and mental health wellness videos. This was one of the things that confirmed it was him, not just by a recognisable name. When I was growing up my dad and his girlfriend were obsessed with self-help books and Oprah but they would never practise what they read. It was part of their manipulative facade to me and the rest of the world.

Also, my father's girlfriend would pretend to be shy and sensitive and overplay her feminity. She was aware that appearing more feminine made her come across as less threatening to others. This made people think she was nice and caused doubt in people's minds when I told them she was abusing me. This is what master manipulators do. They create a front for others and their victims. If they can cause doubt in the minds of the public, it is easier for them to cast doubt in the minds of their victims.

The last time I was in contact with my father I was confused by all the 'help' I was receiving from him yet I was more emotional than ever. I would often get overwhelmed being in contact with him as he would lovebomb me and contact me every day. Darius Cikanavicius states in his article Six Reasons Narcissists Try To Appear Helpful states Narcissists sometimes help others and do favors because it gives them power over those whom they help. Which is what I found when I spoke to my father last. I also found to have more problems when I last spoke to him which was due to how my father would behave every time I got upset.

So to conclude if you ever find a person helpful and someone says that that person is abusing them or is abusive, try not to question the person telling you this. It's better to remember that you see this person as helpful because they want you to see them that way. So it's better to investigate the abuser rather than continue to question the abused. It's not the victim's fault that their abuser seems to be a stand-up citizen. It's just another obstacle in a victim trying to prove the abuse because the abuser knows how to pull the wool over everyone's eyes.


Bibliography


https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2020/05/narcissists-generosity#1

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/04/30/psychologist-shares-toxic-phrases-highly-narcissistic-people-always-use-and-how-to-respond.html

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