I'm Releasing and I'm Leaning Into It.

 



Hi Dragonflies,


Before the drama occurred with my dad stalking me again, I was feeling bad that I had been neglecting this blog because my toxic relatives didn't cross my mind. Whenever I would write in this blog I would spread out my posts but because I don't have a scheduling option on blogger, spreading out made it more work and more time I had to think about my past. I would feel slack not writing and I would ocassionally feel a bit of shame writing because I was afraid people would misinterpret my inspiration as me not moving on.

Last night I realised that I am entitled to lean into my prolific blog times and my quiet blog times. This is because when I need to release thoughts and feelings about toxic relatives, I need to do it at the pace of my inspiration. That means releasing muliple posts even several a day. Writing about it here not only helps other dragonflies(survivors/victims) but it also minimises my need to talk about it in my personal life.

I also realised that I don't need to feel ashamed when I don't write in this blog because there will always be other times when I feel inspired to write about this topic. I was trapped in a toxic family system for over 20 years and thats a wealth of experience to write about. I've worked very hard to build a healthy and happy life that I keep private. So I have every right to live it and take breaks from this blog. I also found that forcing myself to write in the blog daily like I did last May was a strain on my mental health and although all those posts will help others, I need to take care of myself while I write about this kind of thing. There's a fine balance between speaking about trauma and dwelling on it.

So you might find me writing a lot in this blog lately but just know that even if there isn't any recent posts, you can always scroll back and find something that will resonate with you. I hope you've enjoyed this post.

Stay true to you and always pursue healing <3

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